I picked the wrong branch of the sciences

I was surfing today and found a very interesting article:

30 Jobs That Pay $80,000

It was a pretty cool list. Nineteen of the thirty jobs are either science or engineering related! Of course, there were the ringers of the lot: 12 – Producers and Directors and 5 – Agents and business managers of artists, performers and athletes. But the rest of them all require at least a four year college degree.

This is the one that I found most interesting:

4. Atmospheric, earth, marine and space sciences teachers, post-secondary
Do this: Teach courses and research topics in the physical sciences, except chemistry and physics.
Get paid: $81,470

At first, I started looking forward in the list to see if Chemistry and Physics Post-Secondary teachers get their own entry with an even higher salary. Then I looked at the salary again and was a little surprised. Really? I could be making that? I’m at the wrong college… When I didn’t find a separate entry for physics and chemistry, I realized that we must be below the 80K cutoff. Bummer.

I also didn’t see “wine maker” on that list. Because that would be my second choice.

Favorite websites

I spend a lot of time on my computer. Lots. I’ve started to leave my laptop in my office so I won’t be distracted by email. Plus the fact that when we removed the keys that had been in the locks for about two years, the part showing was pretty corroded and brown. I like my laptop too much.

In between email and making up exams and horrible problem sets for my students, I surf. These are my four go to sites:

http://epicute.com This is my new favorite site. It’s all about food and photography. What’s not to like? I love to look at the pictures and think “Wow. Thank goodness I don’t have that much time on my hands.”

icanhascheezburger.com Cute photos of cats with funny captions. It doesn’t get much better. I look at it three or four times a day. I also check out GraphJam across the top.

Girls with Slingshots My favorite webcomic. Treat yourself and start from the beginning.

XKCD My next favorite webcomic, only because it’s three times a week and it sometimes makes me feel out of the loop. I’ve had to look up some of the references. I totally want this shirt though.

_________

I spent the evening with a bunch of high school chemistry teachers. I was invited to talk at a meeting that the ACS local section holds for local chemistry teachers. I talked about fat and how to incorporate some of the ideas into an already jam packed schedule. My part went OK. I think they mostly liked my ideas about using household solvents in chemistry labs. Acetone and methanol is much cheaper from Home Depot than it is from Sigma. It works just as well in most experiments and demonstrations that they are going to do.

I really enjoyed meeting the high school teachers and hearing what some of their problems are. Turns out, we face a lot of the same challenges! I’m going to start going to the meetings. They are only once a month and I can get a lot of ideas from them for non-majors labs. Plus, it doesn’t hurt to network and spread the word about my college!

__________

Mmmm…. Blueberries.

Well, that’s done.

I turned in my tenure statement today. I was the last of the six to get it over to the provost’s office. Of course, I had to say, “Saving the best for last!” I’m not that funny after three weeks of intense concentration on one subject. I spent the weekend doing the final preparations – deciding on the order of papers, proofing the statement, printing out the last couple of pages and realizing that I left yet another piece of paper at work.

I was afraid that I would have to cancel class but I did manage to find time to prepare for my advanced organic class. They had to read about 15 pages of material and then send me their questions by Sunday afternoon. That type of class is the hardest to prepare for because you never know what the students are going to need clarification on. I even made up a sheet that has the information for their literature presentation! It wasn’t the most organized of lectures, but I got most of the material across.

What I didn’t do is prepare for regular organic chemistry. Lecture wasn’t that bad: thermodynamics and kinetics. It was a review from gen chem so not too bad. What I also didn’t do was write the exam that they have tomorrow. So tonight, instead of relaxing with Husband, celebrating the submission of the tenure package, I stayed at the science building until 8PM answering questions about alkane nomenclature and chair conformations. Then, when I got home, I spent the next hour and a half coming up with a test.

It’s about halfway done right now. I know what type of questions I want to add, but I think it is time to go to bed. I’ve found that if I try to push on and get it done tonight, the questions will get harder and harder because when I’m tired, I get more creative. They don’t need more creative right now. They need some straightforward, easy points.

So the celebration waits.

No wine tonight? Are you nuts?!?

Nightmares for Grownups

I remember the nightmares I used to have as a kid. The most vivid one was where Godzilla stepped on me. I was wearing a yellow birdwatching dress (whatever that is!). And then the usual one – going to school naked. My twist on it was that EVERYONE went to school naked and you got to pick out your clothes from a big closet at the front of school. All my friends found clothes quickly, but I couldn’t and had to go to class naked.

I still have nightmares, but not very often. Most of them are straight from the terminator. Something is chasing me that can’t be killed and it has glowing red eyes. But I’m usually too tired to remember my dreams.

But last night I had an honest to goodness grownup nightmare. My research group all quit to go work in the Humanities. (Not that there’s anything wrong with the Humanities.) Perhaps this is my subconscious mind working a few things out?

Gratuitous kitty pic:

“Yeah, I agree Max. I hate it when she starts telling us her dreams.”

Fifteen page brag letter

When I’m talking to students about preparing seminars I always tell them a story that I heard from someone that they heard from a friend about a sister’s roommate. The presenter was showing some data that they must have been awfully proud of. They put the overhead on the projector and said “I’ll let the data speak for itself” and then stood in silence for about 30 seconds, just letting everyone soak in the greatness that was his graph. (You know it’s a old story because (1) it’s an overhead projector and (2) it’s always “he.”)

We have a good laugh and then have the discussion about the proper way to present data so there aren’t large, uncomfortable pauses.

But as I’m writing my tenure statement, that’s all I really want to do. Give them my CV and be done with it.

A tenure statement is supposed to let the committee and whoever else is voting know just how great you are and all the wonderful things that you’ve done while at your institution. You play up the good stuff and explain away the bad stuff. If I had had to write this statement back in high school or early college, I might not have had the trouble that I’m having now.

I liked to talk about myself back then! I was stinking proud of all of the things I did and my grades and my ACT scores. But sometime during college, I finally realized what the rest of the world already knew: Nobody cared and nobody wanted to hear about it. So I changed my boasting ways. I don’t put myself out where everyone can see me on a regular basis. If I get something cool and exciting, I don’t generally trumpet it to the world. I’m still proud of my achievements, but I don’t assume that everyone else wants to hear about them in gory detail.

But the committee wants the blood and guts in technicolor and IMAX surround sound. They want to make sure that I’m a good fit and up to the standards of the college.

At first I was having trouble starting to write because I knew it would be a lot of work and I like to procrastinate like that. The lawn looked great and the kitchen was probably cleaner than it has been in years. The cats were all good and played with and I was cooking every night.

Now that I’ve actually started the damn thing, I’m having trouble focusing because I’m tired of hearing about me! (Notice that this post is from the middle of the afternoon…) I feel like if I could just set my CV to music and have someone sing it to them, it would be much more entertaining and maybe keep their attention more than what I have now – so far 7 single-spaced pages of “I’m great” and “I love my job!” Well, at least I still have 11 days before it is due. An hour or so a day just might get me to the end of this chore without puking.