All that glitters

I love sparkly, glittery things. Shirts with sparkles, dangly earrings, diamonds, Kleenex, whatever. Now that I am closer to 40 than 30, I try to rein in some of the sparkles. It really isn’t appropriate for me to be shopping in the children’s section of the store anymore, even if they have the best shirts.

Back when I was in high school and wearing WAY too much makeup, I bought some powder that said “Shimmers” on the label. WELL OF COURSE! This sounded like just the product for me. It wasn’t until I put it on and went to school and was out in the morning sun, during marching band practice, that I realized that shimmers=glitter all over my face. I’m sure I tried to rub it all off, but that episode further cemented my reputation on campus.

I pretty much stayed away from the glitter powder and makeup from then on.

Fast forward twenty years.

The other day, as I was getting ready for work, I noticed that I had a faint glitter on me, especially on my chest. I immediately flashed back to my HS days but was pretty sure I hadn’t bought any new makeup lately. I dismissed it as maybe there was residue on the towels from a shirt that had perhaps snuck in in the laundry. I didn’t really worry too much about it because – hey! It’s glitter!

The towels got switched out and I still had the faint sparkle. Now I’m starting to get a little concerned. As I starting to sweat something that is reacting with my clothes? I kept meaning to ask Husband if he was noticing glitter to see if it was laundry related but how do you bring up that subject with your spouse?

“So honey, have you noticed any rashes that look suspiciously like glitter?” I can just imagine his expression. He’s already worried about my sanity at times and this might just win me a trip to the padded room.

But thankfully, I figured out the problem before I had to ask any embarrassing questions.

One of my favorite body washes is the Oil of Olay Ribbons. Especially in winter, the extra moisturizers in there really help to keep me from looking like a lizard. I was in Meijer during the summer and found two bottles on clearance AND I had major coupons. Of course those babies are going home with me. I didn’t start using them for awhile because 1 – I’m cheap and already had an open bottle of soap in the shower and 2 – I forgot that I had them.

About two weeks ago, I pulled a new bottle out from under the sink. About the same time that I noticed my unusual glow.

Yup. My body wash has glitter.

I’m now trying to think of all the times that I work a V-necked or low cut shirt. One time jumps out in particular.

It was during my tenure interview with the president.

What does a sock, a kitten and a bench have in common?

They are all things that made me laugh today.

First, the sock. This is the ugliest sock in the world, and I knitted it using this pattern: (Which is an amazing pattern. Lots of pictures and very clear instructions.)

I like the colors and the amazing self-striping nature of the yarn, but really. Whose foot would this fit? It looks like something that MIGHT fit Snoopy; if he had a club foot. If you look closely at about 1.5 inches before the toe (at the second black stripe from the left), you can see that the knitting gets a lot tighter. I was angry when finishing it.

I followed all of the instructions to the tee… Except maybe the one about gauge. I was on the plane and what would I do if I didn’t knit in the right gauge? Ask the flight attendant for another pair of needles? Right.

Here’s what I’ll do – I’ll GIVE you the sock, if you can come up with the best story (in 50 words or less) about who would wear this sock.

______________________________

Now the kitten.

  

What do you think of this little ball of fuzz? She’s a stray that a student found and is desperately trying to find a home for.

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Finally, the bench.

I have the new version of iPhoto. It is pretty darn cool. One of the features that I love is that it can recognize faces. It’s kind of like Facebook. You tag photos with who is in the photo, but this is where it gets all cool and Apple-y on you. It then goes through the rest of your photos and picks out other photos that might have the same people in it. You have to confirm the guesses and the more confirmations, the better it gets.

I was taking some time and scrolling through the photos when I had this hit for me:

It is a most excellent and interesting bench, but a bench? Come on, I think I’m more of a ottoman if nothing else…

Great ideas gone wrong

One common misconception is that Ph.D.s are really smart. Some of us are, but most of us only know a lot of useless knowledge about one teeny, tiny little area. For example, if you want to know about the degradation of acrylic polymers as studied by EPR, I’m your woman. But if you want to know about something that really matters, say … how to make sure your souffle doesn’t fall or how to change your oil, I’m not the one.

But we can usually manage to make it through life without too many mishaps or embarrassing moments. In fact, for most of us, you would never know that we had a Ph.D. just by looking at us. It’s like some sort of reverse superpower.

But occasionally, just sometimes, our specialness shines through for the world to see. Take for example my trying to learn to solve the Rubik’s cube. I was in lab one day and a Rubik’s cube just showed up. I fiddled around with it and set it down, no better than when I started. The next time I turned around it was solved! I messed it up good and set it down again. This time, I saw one of my students solving it. I was extremely jealous and resolved that I would learn to do it.

During the Wednesday of the last week of classes, it was time. Wednesday is a scratched day because office hours, classes and lab take up 8.5 hours of the eleven that I usually spend on campus. I went to the trusty internets (because you can find ANYTHING on the ‘web) to find a good cheat… errrr… method for solving it. I found one and was slowly working my way through it during office hours. However, when it came time for lab, I decided that I would print out the cheat so I didn’t have to be stuck by the computer. (Lab was checkup and students were working on final write-ups. No rocket science or rocket fuel so I didn’t have to pay attention. I didn’t even have to wear safety goggles!!)

Sounds like a great idea huh? What do you see that’s wrong with this picture?

Funny how green, red and blue all come out grey on a black and white printer.

Good thing I can laugh at myself and don’t fail all of the students when they start laughing at me.

Damn cat

I went to the grocery store on Monday and spent $80. I brought home 10 grocery bags and a box of flavored water. I then went to the pet store and spent $40 on cat food and assorted accoutrements. It fit in ONE bag. A small bag.

But in good news, the black cat is finally eating. He’s been picky, picky, picky but we’ve pretty much decided that he gets whatever he wants to eat. Husband even offered to open one of his cans of Albacore tuna. I decided we weren’t quite at that point, but it was close.

We went through four different cans before he settled on a food that he’ll eat. It’s not even in a can; it’s in a pouch. It is the most disgusting food I have ever seen for a cat. It is Purrfectly Fish from Whiskas. I don’t know why I think it is so disgusting because it actually looks like real fish. Chunks of real fish with skin and bones mixed up in some sauce/gravy/jelly. But he attacked it and at about half the pouch before getting full, so I’m counting that as a win.

No word from the vet yet about the cytology results.

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On a different note, I got the saddest email from a student at 10:20PM tonight:

I was assigned a story on [a band that one of my colleagues is in] for my journalism class earlier tonight that is due at midnight (and is part of my grade, not just for the [school newspaper])…. I was wondering if you could offer any insights on the band or on either of the professors personalities? I’m looking for some background information and would really appreciate it if you could help me.

Really? I guess it could happen, but I have a hard time believing that it was assigned that evening and due at midnight.

I did respond, but because I haven’t seen the band and didn’t know that one of the profs was in the band, I wasn’t able to offer my usual witticisms and pithy quotes. I couldn’t even offer a lame joke!

She was just lucky that I was checking my email this late at night.

As you head off to sleep (or whatever chore you are avoiding by reading this), I leave you with this thought:

ILUVEAL?

Today, I carried a bucket

Remember that whole “chemist, not biologist” thing? Today, I proved that fact rather loudly.

We waded out to a small island that is just off SeaCamp. With our camp counselors. We can’t go anywhere without Joe and Alina. I know it’s about safety, but come on. We can walk in water without chaperones!

But back to the bucket. Wading out through grass beds. Icky, disgusting grass beds. On the way out, Alina caught a little batfish.

Thanks www.thejump.net/ id/roughback-batfish.htm for the photo!

These are creepy, slimy looking fish that don’t like being put in buckets. I offered to carry the bucket so the people actually enrolled in the class could go out and learn things. When it was dumped in the bucket it immediately tried to get out. I, in turn, immediately screamed rather loudly. I held on to the bucket and the fish but it was not fun.

After we got over to the island and everyone had a chance to ooh and aah over it, we released it back in the sea grass so it could terrorize some other poor chemist.

The next task was for the students to snorkel through the grass beds and hand collect some slimy looking alga and sponges. Guess who got to follow them with the bucket?

You got it in one.

I was doing fine with the pieces of alga and the whelks but when they came over and dumped an eight inch lobster in my six inch bucket, I had more of a problem. Thankfully, he only flopped around once before he settled down. But of course, when he did it, I screamed again.

It was not a good day.

Especially for the poor students who’s bedding got rained on when a front came through.